That thing you are looking at there, that thing was a serving of beef chow mein from a Chinese restaurant in West Denver which I will only refer to as “Restaurant X,” even though their real name is New China Kitchen and they are located at 250 Federal Blvd in Denver, Colorado.
Now, I have a feeling I know what you are thinking: what were you expecting? You ordered beef chow mein from a scoop-n-poop joint on Federal. You’re lucky you didn’t get Hepatitis, or Dropsy.
This is a fair notion: by joining my mates in the office in such a lunchtime endeavor, I ran the risk of bitter disappointment and/or food-borne illness, and should count myself lucky that I only ended up with the first (although it is early, still, so stay tuned).
But seriously, wow. I mean…wow. There were hardly any noodles. Chow mein is reliant on noodles. The beef was wretched, its wretchedness thrown into sharp relief by a thick, corn-starchy glop that somehow managed to taste like nothing good and everything terrible at the same time.
I’ve had their food before and not hated it. I’m sure the proprietors are lovely people. But–and this must be said–that small white box of awful changed my perception of the whole “eating food” thing forever. I hereby swear off the stuff. I can’t risk that happnening ever again.
I have to admit, there is a certain Gainsburger-like quality to the appearance of that beef. I think you’ve chosen a wise course by avoiding further food altogether.
There were two chinese restaurants near work in San Francisco. I always preferred the Lucky Corner (I think I took you there) because the other place had food that tasted only of MSG and animal grease. And I don’t know what kind of animal. Possibly reptile.
The weird thing was that a Chinese woman I worked for always ate at the place I avoided. This was a woman who could walk into an expense (and wonderful) Chinese restaurant and command they make her family’s tea recipe….but for some reason the awful place tasted like the every day Chinese street food she used to eat.
looks like meat soup- blah